So today is the first day of fall...

And, I love the season's color scheme -- beautiful plums, vibrant purples, rich violets, coupled with tried and true black. Gone are the days of wild 80s-hued fuchsias, gaudy pinks and mind-numbing shades of yellow and orange. The fall calls for a more staid palette add to that the fact that plaids are making an extraordinary comeback and you have a season where anyone can look great. Well, almost anyone and here comes my rant.

Why is it that certain people see things that everyone else knows good and daggone well do not go together UNDER any circumstances and throw it on? I know that it is not because they do not care, therefore, I am writing this rant under the assumption that they just do not know any better. For instance, this morning, I parked my car in my regular parking garage and expected to see my regular sights on the way to the office. However, today was anything other than ordinary. I saw two women walking together and they were a sight that would make any fashionistas eyes water. Heck, I heard old blind Lazarus from the Old Testament hollering about how their tackiness made him want to lose his sight again.

Anyway, the shorter of these two women had on a blue and black plaid wool jacket (which on its own was cute with its asymmetrical lines), some hot pink biker shorts, red slide-ons, with striped socks and a multi-hued flowered top (that had the nerve not to have a SINGLE SPOT of pink in it, the shades it sported were brown, cocoa, cinnamon, cream). Her friend had on a Washington, DC baseball cap, yellow capris that turned up at the bottom to reveal some sort of patterned cuff, some type of paisley tank top, black hi-heeled wedges and a fake Louis Vuitton scarf. Each outfit was replete with a large bag and one actually had on a black fanny pack in addition to the oversized purses. In all honesty, I could not tell you a daggone thing about those purses except that they seemed big. I was so focused on what they were wearing that I just could not get it together...it was akin to visual stimuli overload. My eyes began to water and my mouth became dry. I was saddened and a little lost. I could not understand why someone would commit so many fashion sins in a single day, in a single outfit.

In the end, all I could do was channel Florida Evans from Good Times in that episode where her husband James died, and say "DAYUM, DAYUM, DAYUM!!!!"

Natual does not equal a natural disaster

So this morning, I saw something that gave me pause. There was this sister dressed to the nines, or at least she thought she was, with her knock off Chanel boucle jacket, pencil skirt with the seam stretched past endurance and pumps (which would not be complete without the taps of her shoes in desperate need of repair) that had seen better days. With all of this going wrong, none of this was worse that what sat upon her head -- A NO-FRO!!!

For those who aren't in the know, a no-fro is a purported descendant of the much lauded and praised Afro. Beginning in the late 60s, the Afro, or natural, was a sign of pride, of dignity and most importantly, acceptance of your hair's natural texture. Afros were well-groomed and well-trimmed. And, even though the hair's texture could be anything - nappy, curly, kinky or any other texture or combination of textures that the wearer's hair could muster, the most important facet of a "tight 'fro" was that it was neat and created a gentle halo around the wearer's head. However, the no-fro is quite the opposite. It is unkempt, disarrayed and wild. Hair grows all down the wearer's neck and looks like it has not been combed in days.

I do not understand the fascination with unkempt hair, but I will tell you what I understand, I understand that it is getting on everyone's daggone nerves. I am going to add some examples so that everyone understands the issue. It is one of grave importance and one that should be addressed as quickly as we address the economy...

Why......WHY?!?

I love this time of year. The Fall...when the leaves turn, and it's not too cold, but not too hot. As we transition ourselves, and our wardrobes, there are those that just need....help.

Why?

WHY are people already wearing KNEE BOOTS in September on a day it's going to be 78 degrees??

WHYYYY?!

I know we're all buying them now...getting ready *peeking down the hall for my Zappos order* but WHY are they on your feet, WITH, may I add, a pair of TIGHTS?! I thought everyone transitioned gently....from sandals, to peep toes, to pumps with no stockings, to booties and boots? No? Is that wishful thinking?!

Anna Wintour I am not (and if you don't know who that is, close this gosh darn window, immediately!), but dadblame it, I have a smidge of fashion sense. So let me break down what I do...because, each one, teach one, right?!

Summer...it's obvious. Get your pedicures, and rock your sandals. But please, get YOUR size so there is no hangover on the front or the back. Men, the mandal...I just...can't....not in this post. *gag* From Summer into Fall, start transitioning to peep toes and slingbacks. As it gets cooler, go from those to pumps (toes IN when it hits 60 daggone degrees, PLEASE!) with no hosiery. From there, on to your booties and boots, with the appropriate hosiery. When it begins to get warmer in the Spring...do it the opposite way.

See?? Nice and simple! So, to the young lady I saw this morning that caused this post (and hey, the entire blog to appear), thanks....I think?! Bless your heart...I know your little legs were just sweating when we hit our high temp today, huh? Better luck next time!

What is wrong with some people?

It's that time of year again. People do wrong all year, however, it is during the changing of seasons when we see the worst offenses. I know there are some fashionistas who say "fine, go ahead and wear bright, summer white all year long," but, here we say "what's wrong with you, put up that daggone white linen skirt, it's after Labor Day for goodness sake!"

The centerpiece of our new effort will be to target offenders in and around Washington, DC. It saddens us that so many of those that share our community with us would so egregiously ignore good taste and common sense, but it truly gives us something to laugh and blog about. So it begins...